Have you ever watched your child do something wildly basic, like put an empty milk carton back in the fridge, and wonder, “Is this what X years of parenting toil has resulted in?”
We’ve devoted our entire parenting lives to slowly, steadily teaching them how to become capable, kind, thoughtful humans who can function in the world. And yet… here we are. Out of both milk and patience.
While every part of our brain is screaming “I can’t go over this AGAIN with this person”, alas, we cannot give up. Not if we ever want to be free.
Life skills matter because (a) they keep people alive without them having to WhatsApp their mum and (b) they give kids confidence and confidence gives them wings. And by life skills, I mean all the knowledge that helps our kids move through the world with a sense of “I can probably figure this out”, which is one of the most useful beliefs a person can have.
And yes, school teaches plenty. But school probably won’t teach them how to cook a decent dinner, say sorry properly, compare prices, calm themselves down, avoid a dodgy online scammer, manage rejection, clean a bathroom or know when a friendship is making them feel terrible.
That’s where we come in.
We’re all about raising capable kids who can look after themselves, get along with people, solve problems, recover from mistakes and build a meaningful life that matters. Whatever that looks like for them.
Raising independent humans who can actually do stuff
So here are 101 essential life skills every kid should learn before leaving home, covering practical skills, emotional regulation, money, relationships, critical thinking, health, resilience and all the messy grown-up bits in between.
Home life skills
There are many, many life skills for kids to learn before we can release them from the home. Cooking, cleaning, clothing, co-ordinating, caring… I may be able to fill this section with c-words alone – no comment 🙂 …
1. Cook at least five basic meals
Every kid should leave home knowing how to cook at least five simple meals with confidence. Pasta, eggs, stir fry, soup, tacos, baked potatoes, anything they like a lot that gets actual food into their body without needing a delivery app.
Cooking builds independence, confidence and problem-solving. It also teaches kids that feeding yourself well is a form of self-respect and self-care, not just an annoying adult chore (though it is that, too).
2. Make a meal from what’s already in the fridge
Following a recipe is useful, but real life often looks more like “we have half a capsicum, wilting spinach and an egg, what now?” (The answer: an omelette. It’s always an omelette.)
That time your teen made dinner (thanks viral TikTok recipes!)
Learning to improvise with food reduces waste, saves money and builds the exceptional skill of ‘making do’ – a life skill our grandparents had down to a fine art.
3. Do their own laundry
By the time kids leave home, they should know how to sort clothes, use a washing machine, hang things properly and get stains out of their fave t-shirt. And this includes learning how to read a care label – yes, those scratchy things most kids cut off their clothes without a second thought are useful.
Being good at doing the washing teaches responsibility and routine. It also gives kids a very clear understanding that clean clothes do not magically appear in drawers courtesy of the household fairy. This will be a rude awakening for some.
4. Change the sheets
This sounds basic, but you’d be surprised how many young adults reach independence without knowing how to wrangle a fitted sheet without losing the will to live. I am still learning myself.
Clean sheets are part hygiene and part learning to create a pleasant space for yourself. Small domestic habits are a very important road to a pleasant life.
That said, if your version of ‘folding’ a fitted sheet is rolling into a loose ball and shoving it in the cupboard, I see you.
5. Clean a bathroom properly
Not “wipe the sink and call it done”. Properly. And that means toilet, sink, mirror, shower, floor, bin, the whole glamorous production.
Cleaning teaches respect for shared spaces and an understanding that nobody is above doing ordinary, necessary work. Also, future housemates will love your kid.
6. Wash dishes and stack a dishwasher logically
There is a correct way to stack a dishwasher. This is not up for debate.
Kids who know how to clean up after meals learn contribution, teamwork and basic household responsibility. They also learn that making food is only half the job. Cleaning up is part of the deal.
7. Sew on a button
It’s a tiny skill, but it gives kids a satisfying sense of practical competence. A loose button doesn’t need to become a wardrobe crisis.
Start with the button and move onto hems, small tear repairs and darning the holes in your socks. Small repair skills like these teach resourcefulness and push back against the throwaway culture our kids are growing up in.
8. Iron or steam clothes
Not everything needs ironing, praise be. I haven’t personally ironed anything except wedding attire for about 7 years. But kids should know how to make clothes look presentable for interviews, work, events and other moments where people still want to weirdly judge you by the smoothness of your clothes (I think I’ve made it clear that I am not that person).
9. Pack for a trip
Packing builds planning skills and personal responsibility. Kids need to learn how to think ahead: weather, activities, toiletries, chargers, shoes, medication, something warm, enough clean somethings to last them the distance.
10. Know how to organise your time
One of the biggest challenges of adulthood isn’t having too much to do. It’s deciding what to do first.
Teach your kid to use a calendar, diary or planner, break large jobs into smaller tasks and avoid leaving everything until the last minute. Good time management reduces stress for life.
11. Unblock a sink or toilet safely
No one wants this lesson, but most of us will need it at some point. Kids should know the basics of plungers, drains and when to stop poking around and call in the experts.
Not only will they learn a skill that may save them a fortune (unless, of course, it’s an emergency plumber situation), but this one will be a gentle introduction into the world of truly gross stuff you just have to take care of when you’re a grown-up.
12. Change a light bulb
Simple, but surprisingly not often taught. My cousin-in-law is a sparky and he once told me that 50% of his work is literally changing lightbulbs for people who have no idea. Nice work if you can get it.
Teaching your kids this skill will not only save them a fortune, but it reinforces that homes require ongoing maintenance. All, the. f’ing. time.
13. Use basic tools
A screwdriver, hammer, measuring tape, allen key and wrench are not mysterious objects from the land of dads.
Practical competence is incredibly empowering. Basic tool knowledge means they can assemble the inevitable IKEA furniture they will buy. They can fix small things, make stuff they need and generally feel less helpless in their own spaces.
14. Know how to reset the Wi-Fi
Let’s be honest, they’ve probably been doing this one since they were five. But do check. Same goes for other small tech problems (remote wrangling, computer reboots, stuff like that). Remember to pass on the golden lore of all tech issues: before calling in the experts, remember to first switch it off, then switch it back on again. You probably won’t need the tech nerds after all.
15. Keep a basic household shopping list
We were all there during Covid: running out of toilet paper is how civilisation falls apart.
Teaching kids to notice what needs replacing builds awareness and responsibility. It also helps them understand that efficient households require forward and ongoing planning.
16. Shop for groceries on a budget
Grocery shopping teaches money sense, decision-making and nutrition. It also introduces the devastating reality that berries cost approximately the same as rent.
Kids should know how to compare prices, choose ingredients, avoid impulse buys and plan meals around what they can afford and hopefully what’s on special that week.
17. Store food safely
Knowing what belongs in the fridge, what needs freezing and when leftovers have crossed into “absolutely not” territory is an essential life skill.
18. Make an appointment
Whether it’s a doctor, dentist, haircut or job interview, kids need to know how to book something without spiralling. This may. or may not, involve picking up the phone and actually speaking to someone.
This is no easy feat for kids who usually talk with their thumbs, so get them to practice, practice, practice. Reassure them that they will indeed survive the awkwardness.
19. Use public transport
Kids should know how to read a timetable, plan a route, top up a card, ask for help and get home safely. This is a skill best learned on outings with parents before sending them off on their own when they’re ready. Or perhaps just a bit before they’re ready – I very much subscribe to the Boomer Dad ‘throw them into the deep end’ style of parenting.
20. Read a map
GPS is wonderful, until your phone dies or sends you into an enormous Bunnings car park that appears to have no exit (this happened to me last week and it was days before I was set free).
This life skill is particularly handy for any person who plans to travel the world. Data coverage is notoriously patchy in, say, Portugal, Paris or Patagonia.
21. Handle being lost
No doubt about it, getting lost is super scary, but it’s also manageable if kids know how to pause, stay calm, check landmarks, ask for help and contact home.
This skill teaches kids that panic is not a plan. A plan is knowing exactly what you’d do if you ever lost your way.
22. Keep track of important documents
Birth certificates, passports, Medicare cards, bank details, tax file numbers, school records, they’ve all got to be kept safe for years and years.
I’m particularly bad at this one… my record keeping is an absolute bin-fire nightmare and it stresses me out all the time. Don’t let your kid be me.
23. Write a basic email
Good written communication is still a life advantage.
A clear subject line, polite greeting, short message and sign-off will take a person a surprisingly long way.
And, sure, we’ve got Chat GPT for that, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know the basics yourself. How else are you going to critique the robot output if you don’t know what’s good yourself? Hmmm….
24. Fill in a form
Forms are dull as, but they run the world whether we like it or not. Kids need to know how to read instructions, provide accurate details and check their work before submitting.
This teaches attention to detail and patience. It also helps them become less intimidated by general life admin, which is basically adulthood’s least exciting personality trait.
25. Wake up on time
Do you still need to get your kid up in the morning? At some point, we have to step back from being their human alarm clock.
Getting yourself up on time to greet your day and all it promises is fundamentally the bare minimum.
The quickest way to get the kids up to scratch on this one is to just stop waking them up. Get them an analogue alarm clock, show them how to set it and then leave them to it. Natural consequences (usually in the form of missed buses, school demerits or stressed mornings) should soon teach them to bolt out of bed when that thing goes off.
26. Manage a morning routine
Getting out the door with everything needed for the day is an underrated executive functioning skill.
Kids who can manage mornings learn planning, time awareness and self-responsibility. All of these skills matter for school now and work later. They also have a carry-over affect if they learn to make time for some of the morning fundamentals that we know increase our health and happiness:
- Get some early morning light
- Move your body
- Eat a nourishing breakfast
- Reflect on the good things
- Take time to properly plan your day
Money skills
Money is one of those topics we often avoid talking about with kids until suddenly they’re expected to know how to budget, pay bills and understand tax. It really doesn’t work like that.
The earlier we introduce financial literacy in everyday life, the more confident they’ll feel when it’s their turn to manage their own money.
27. Create a simple budget
Every person should know where their money is coming from, where it’s going and whether those two things are in balance.
Budgeting is about making intentional choices with your money. Kids who learn to budget early are more likely to feel in control of their money rather than constantly wondering where it disappeared to.
If you need help to explain budgeting concepts and practices to your kids, start with Moneysmart’s tips.
28. Understand the difference between wants and needs
This sounds obvious until you realise your teen genuinely believes bubble tea is an essential living expense.
Learning to separate needs from wants helps kids prioritise spending and make thoughtful decisions, especially when money is limited.
The best way to teach teens about money (even if you’re not confident yourself)
29. Save for something they really want
Delayed gratification is one of the most valuable life skills we can teach. Saving towards a goal helps kids appreciate the value of money, experience the satisfaction of working towards something and understand that good things don’t always happen instantly.
And this is a hard thing to learn. It’s basically about learning to be comfortable with discomfort. Setting a goal that you need to work towards is the beginning point for this skill. Especially if that goal means giving up small things in order to achieve the big thing.
30. Compare prices before buying
Teach kids to look beyond the first option they see. Shopping around, checking unit prices and comparing quality are habits that can save thousands over a lifetime.
It also develops critical thinking and helps them become thoughtful consumers instead of impulsive shoppers.
31. Read a payslip
The first payslip can look like it’s written in another language.
Show your child what tax, superannuation, deductions and hourly rates actually mean so they understand exactly where their money is going.
Your teen’s first job is an excellent time to delve into all of this. Payslips are a legal requirement in Australia for every job, so if your kid can’t work out how to access theirs, they need to ask their employer.
50+ jobs for teens that will benefit them for life
32. Understand how tax works
No, you don’t need to explain the Australian tax system in forensic detail to a 12-year-old.
But older kids should understand that tax helps pay for schools, hospitals, roads and other services, and that earning more money doesn’t mean “losing it all to tax”.
When the time comes, they should also learn how to do a basic tax return.
33. Know what superannuation is
Retirement feels approximately one million years away when you’re 16, but understanding super early gives kids a huge head start.
Explain that even small contributions made consistently over time can grow into something significant thanks to compound earnings.
All three of our kids had jobs from the minimum age and we encouraged them to start a super account and contribute an extra $5-$10 from every payslip into that fund. I hope they keep it up because even this small amount a week consistently contributed into super from age 15/16 can mean hundreds of thousands of dollars more at retirement. And they won’t miss it. They really won’t.
34. Use a debit card responsibly
Tapping a card doesn’t feel like spending money in the same way handing over cash used to.
Help kids understand that digital money is still real money and that every tap represents a conscious financial decision. Using AI to run different ‘save or spend’ scenarios can be really useful here.
35. Recognise scams
Today’s young people are growing up in a world full of fake texts, phishing emails and online scams.
Teach them never to click suspicious links (and by ‘suspicious’ we mean any link that they can’t verify is from a trusted source), share passwords or trust offers that seem too good to be true.
In general, healthy scepticism across the board is a valuable life skill.
36. Understand interest
Kids should understand the difference between earning interest on savings and paying interest on debt, because that knowledge shapes financial decisions for life.
They should also know that compounding that earned interest – known as the ‘eighth wonder of the world’ – is the actually-achievable secret to getting rich. Not some random crypto stock your best mate’s cousin’s neighbour recommends.
Compounding is also the reason why a $70 shirt you buy on credit can end up costing you $500 if you only make your ‘minimum repayments’.
Gosh, there’s such a lot to learn in this space. The golden rule is, interest works both ways and may it be ever in your favour.
How to talk to kids about money
37. Borrow and return things responsibly
Whether it’s money, books or your favourite hoodie, borrowed items should always come back on time and in good condition.
This simple habit builds trust, respect and personal integrity.
38. Learn that every purchase has an opportunity cost
Buying one thing often means saying no to something else.
Helping kids understand trade-offs encourages thoughtful spending rather than impulsive buying.
39. Set financial goals
Goals give money purpose.
Whether they’re saving for concert tickets, a bike or uni, having a clear reason to save makes financial habits much easier to start and maintain.
40. Understand that happiness isn’t bought
Advertising spends billions trying to convince us otherwise.
Helping kids separate self-worth from possessions may be one of the greatest financial gifts we can give them.
People skills
Academic success is valuable, but people skills are generally what determine whether someone thrives at work, builds strong relationships and feels connected to their community. Kindness, empathy and good communication will open doors long after exam results are forgotten.
41. Introduce yourself confidently
Knowing how to introduce themselves helps kids feel more confident in new situations and creates opportunities for friendship, work and connection.
A warm smile, eye contact and “Hi, I’m…” can be surprisingly powerful. Whether they are comfortable shaking hands or prefer a friendly nod is entirely up to them.
42. Remember people’s names
Teaching kids to make an effort with names shows respect and helps build stronger relationships from the very first meeting. Everyone likes feeling remembered.
Three things to know.
- The first is that many of us are super crap at this skill yet we’ve managed to grow to a ripe old age without too many embarrassing consequences.
- The second thing is because the first thing is so common, it’s okay to mention you’ve forgotten someone’s name and ask them again. We’ve all been there and it’s not the end of the world to ask for a repeat. If that feels too hard, enlist the help of a friend (whose name you hopefully do know) to introduce themselves, thereby extracting the name for you. This time, listen closely and see point 3 below.
- The third is that the best way to cement someone’s name into your head is repetition. So say, “Nice to meet you Sophie” and think “with the green dress and nice hair”. Then, within the next couple of minutes, “I like what you’re saying, Sophie” (or whatever fits) and then again, “Sophie, tell me what’s new”, etc. And finish off your encounter with “Loved meeting you, Sophie”, etc. Sophie, Sophie, Sophie with the green dress and nice hair, Sophie.
43. Make conversation with adults
You’d be surprised how few and far between the opportunities are for our kids to practice having an actual conversation with an adult who is not their parent or teacher. Ninety-nine percent of their interactions will be with people their own age.
Being able to chat comfortably with wider family, neighbours, employers and general people builds confidence and broadens a child’s perspective. Ask your friends to help out here: instead of just requiring a “Hi Sue” from your kid as they quickly exit stage left, ask your mate to engage them in a bit of chat whenever they see them.
44. Listen without interrupting
Listening is one of the most underrated social skills there is.
When kids learn to genuinely hear other people instead of simply waiting for their turn to talk, they become better friends, partners and colleagues. They also learn more, engage more and and understand more about other people and the world.
Better even than all of that: they learn that it’s not all about them.
45. Ask thoughtful questions
Curiosity makes conversations far more interesting.
Kids who ask good questions often find it easier to make friends because people enjoy talking with someone who seems genuinely interested.
100+ Never Have I Ever questions for teens
46. Disagree respectfully
Teaching kids to say “I see it differently” instead of attacking someone personally is a skill that will serve them throughout adulthood.
Not every disagreement has to become an argument. And we don’t need to agree with someone in order to talk to them and want to learn more about their perspective.
47. Say thank you properly
Gratitude is so much more than good manners.
A sincere thank you strengthens relationships and helps kids notice the kindness and generosity of others. It also reminds kids to notice thing to be thankful for, which is a foundation of living with gratitude, which is a foundation of fostering happiness.
48. Apologise with sincerity
A proper apology is not “Sorry you got upset.” No, no, no.
It’s taking responsibility, acknowledging the impact and trying to make things right. Kids who can apologise well tend to build stronger, healthier relationships. They also develop greater empathy and learn that mistakes are part and parcel of being human, not a fundamental flaw to be shamefully covered up.
49. Accept compliments
Many people instinctively brush compliments aside, but doing so short circuits an important part of relationship development. People compliment you because they want to connect with you.
Teach kids that it’s perfectly okay to smile and simply say, “Thank you.” Receiving kindness graciously is a social skill too.
50. Set healthy boundaries
People need to know they can respectfully say no when something doesn’t feel right. They can even ‘rudely’ leave the room mid sentence if they need to. They can upturn a table, scream and make a scene, punch someone in the face and run away at speed, if they need to. Trust your gut.
51. Recognise unhealthy friendships
Not every friendship is worth keeping.
Frenemies: 8 tips to help kids manage mean friends
Help kids recognise controlling behaviour, constant criticism, exclusion and manipulation so they can make better choices about who they give their time to. Help them understand what healthy friendships actually look like so they can benchmark the relationships they’re building.
52. Be the kind of friend they’d like to have
This might be the most important relationship lesson of all.
How to help your teen be a good friend
Kindness, reliability, honesty, empathy and showing up when people need you are the foundations of lasting friendships. The best way to find good friends is often to become one yourself.
Looking after yourself
One of the biggest shifts that happens when kids leave home is that nobody is there to remind them to eat breakfast, take a walk or get enough sleep. The freedom is exciting, but it can also be daunting.
Helping kids develop healthy habits before they leave home gives them a much stronger foundation for adulthood.
53. Know how to book a doctor’s appointment
Show your child how to book a GP appointment, what information they’ll be asked for and why it’s important to seek medical advice when something doesn’t feel right. Remind them to ask lots of questions, especially if they’re unsure of what their doctor is prescribing them or diagnosing them with. Google is great, but having a conversation with your GP is better.
Learning to manage and advocate for their own healthcare is a key step towards independence.
54. Understand basic nutrition
This is about understanding what helps your body and brain to function at its best, today and for many years to come.
It’s also not about what the protein bros on TikTok are peddling this week (usually creatine or peptides).
Teach your child the basics of balanced meals, why protein, fibre and other nutrients matter, and how food can affect energy, mood and concentration.
55. Recognise when they’re stressed
Stress isn’t always at panic levels. It’s often the quieter kinds of ongoing stress – which show up as irritability, poor sleep or feeling overwhelmed by small things – that do the most damage.
The earlier kids learn to recognise their own stress signals, the sooner they can do something constructive about them. Beyond Blue is a great resource.
56. Develop healthy ways to calm down
Everyone experiences difficult emotions and life is going to throw plenty of mud. The important skill is knowing what helps to get you back on track.
Whether that’s taking a walk, listening to music, journalling, detective thinking, deep breathing or talking to someone they trust, kids need a toolbox of healthy coping strategies they can rely on throughout life.
57. Prioritise sleep
Sleep often becomes the first thing sacrificed when life gets busy, but it’s one of the biggest predictors of physical and mental wellbeing.
The problem with teens and sleep (or lack of sleep!)
Help your child understand that sleep isn’t something you add on when you have time. It’s the foundational thing you plan first and then add on all the rest of life around it.
58. Know when to ask for help
One of the strongest things a person can say is, “I’m struggling, I need help.”
Teach your child that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but simply a necessary life skill. Whether it’s asking for help from a parent, teacher, friend, counsellor or family member, nobody can solve every problem alone. And luckily we don’t have to.
How to ask for help (because it truly is life changing)
59. Understand basic mental health
Kids should know that mental health is just as important as physical health.
Talk openly about anxiety, depression and stress in age-appropriate ways so they understand that mental health challenges are common, treatable and never something to be ashamed of.
60. Drink enough water
It sounds ridiculously simple, but dehydration contributes to headaches, fatigue, constipation, poor skin and reduced cognitive ability.
- Drink a glass or two of water first thing after you wake up
- Buy them the expensive, giant water bottle and remind them to actually drink from it
- Eat lots of fruit and veggies, which are rich in water
- Sweeten plain water with mint, berries or citrus slices
- Try drinking herbal or fruit teas – hot or cold
Eventually they’ll get to the point where not drinking plenty of water doesn’t feel right. And then you know they’ve got a habit that will benefit them for life.
61. Move their body because it feels good
Help your child discover forms of movement they genuinely enjoy, whether that’s dancing, parkour, soccer, bushwalking, swimming, rock climbing, oztag, going to the gym, basketball or walking the dog.
Exercise is far more sustainable when it’s associated with feeling good rather than looking different.
62. Know basic first aid
Practical confidence reduces panic and helps kids feel capable in everyday emergencies.
Every person should know how to treat a minor burn, clean a cut, manage a nosebleed and recognise when something needs urgent medical attention. They should also know exactly what to do in that situation.
Personally, I think every kid should do a St John’s Ambulance first aid course.
63. Wear sunscreen without being reminded
Aussie kids hear the Slip, Slop, Slap message from an early age, but eventually it needs to become their responsibility. Experiment with different creams to find one they are comfortable applying every day.
64. Understand personal hygiene
Having clean personal hygiene is as much about respecting yourself as it is about respecting the people around you. As any mother of a teenage boy knows, the interpretation of what “clean” hygiene means can vary widely.
The absolute minimum routine should involve:
- A daily shower using body wash on every part of the body
- Fresh underwear every day
- Brushing teeth in the morning and evening and flossing during one of those times
- A hair wash at least once a week
- A fresh towel every other day
- Fresh sheets on the bed at least once a week
- Dirty clothes washed each week
- etc!
65. Learn to manage their own medication
If your child takes regular medication, they should know what it’s for, when to take it and how to organise repeat prescriptions.
66. Know their allergies and medical history
Kids should understand important information about their own health rather than relying on parents to answer every question.
Knowing allergies, medications, emergency contacts and family medical history can be incredibly important in unexpected situations.
When your child turns 14 and is responsible for their own Medicare/healthcare appointments is a good time to talk them through this one.
What happens with Medicare when your child turns 14?
67. Take things slow
We live in a culture that celebrates being busy and it’s not doing anyone any long-term favours. Your kid will already be bombarded with busyness culture courtesy of social media influencers spruiking side hustles, stocks and stupid shit no one actually needs.
Remind your child that ‘being busy’ isn’t a sign of success. Downtime helps brains recover, creativity flourish and emotional resilience grow.
68. Spend time in nature regularly
Nature has a remarkable ability to calm busy minds and restore perspective. The importance of ‘green time’ over ‘screen time’ is increasingly getting attention for good reason.
Whether it’s a beach walk, bushwalk, local park or simply sitting under a tree, spending time outdoors is vital for mental and physical health. It actively counteracts the overstimulation of modern life by lowering stress hormones, restoring cognitive focus and boosting overall emotional wellbeing.
10 genuinely fun outdoor activities for older kids
Thinking well
Good judgement is one of life’s greatest superpowers. In a world overflowing with information, opinions, advertising and algorithms, helping kids think critically has never been more important. The goal isn’t to teach them what to think, but how to think.
69. Ask good questions
Curious people tend to keep learning throughout life.
Curiosity is the foundation of critical thinking. Encourage your child to ask “Why?”, “How do we know that’s true?” and “What else could explain this?”
3 strategies to help kids develop critical thinking skills
70. Spot misinformation
Not everything online deserves to be believed, even if it has thousands of likes. In fact, these days most things deserve scrutiny!
Teach kids to check sources, compare information and recognise that confidence isn’t the same as accuracy. Show them how to glean information from a wide variety of media, not just social media.
71. Change their mind
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” — Maya Angelou
Doing an about-face on an opinion you hold isn’t a show of weakness – it’s growth. One of the most valuable habits kids can develop is the willingness to rethink their opinions when presented with better information.
72. Solve problems instead of avoiding them
Every life includes difficult situations; some lives include many. Being able to hold fast and weather the storm is critical, but so is being able to improve your conditions so a storm does less damage next time.
Rather than immediately rescuing kids, help them think through possible solutions. Problem-solving is like a muscle, it gets stronger with practice and in needs consistent exercise.
Help your kids learn to solve their own problems
73. Read instructions before starting
This one might save years of unnecessary frustration (and potentially save their marriage some time down the track…).
Whether it’s assembling furniture, completing an assignment or using a new appliance, slowing down for two minutes to carefully work through what is already known often saves an hour of fixing mistakes.
74. Understand that mistakes are necessary
Perfectionism keeps many people stuck.
Help your child see mistakes as information rather than ‘failure’. Every capable adult has become capable by getting plenty of things wrong first.
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” — Albert Einstein
Helping your child overcome perfectionism
75. Know when to trust their instincts
If something feels unsafe, manipulative or simply “off”, pay attention.
Teaching kids to respect their intuition, while also thinking logically, helps them make wiser decisions throughout life.
This can be a tricky one if you have a kid with anxiety… but it can also be the path to help them manage that anxiety.
76. Learn how to make decisions
Decisions are hard for all of us, but some people become utterly paralysed by the fear of choosing the wrong thing.
Why teens make such bad decisions (and how to help them make better ones)
Show your kid how to weigh up pros and cons, consider consequences and then make the best decision they can with the information available. When it all comes down to it, humans are actually highly resilient. We have an incredible capacity to adjust to whatever situation we find ourselves in. So most decisions don’t really matter in the great scheme of things.
77. Avoid analysis paralysis
This one relates to the decision skill mentioned above. In this case, it’s about learning to move on after choosing the best available option. Analysis paralysis can tie up a whole life. It’s action that gets things done, not find the ‘perfect’ solution or overthinking our options.
Action.
78. Stay curious for life
The happiest adults are lifelong learners.
Whether it’s books, podcasts, travel, conversations or new hobbies, curiosity keeps life interesting. Encourage your child to remain a learner, because education doesn’t end when school does.
Character skills
When we think about preparing our kids for adulthood, it’s easy to focus on practical skills like cooking or budgeting. But some of the most important life skills are harder to measure. Character shapes how our children treat other people, respond to setbacks and build the kind of life they’re proud of.
79. Keep your word
If you say you’ll do something, do it.
Reliability builds trust faster than almost anything else. Kids who learn to follow through on commitments become the kind of adults people want to work with, be friends with and rely on.
80. Turn up on time
Punctuality is as much about respect as it is about keeping to a schedule.
Being on time tells other people, “I value your time as much as my own.” It’s one of the simplest ways to build a reputation for being dependable.
81. Finish what you start
Not every project has to be completed, but kids should learn the difference between changing direction thoughtfully and giving up because something becomes difficult.
Perseverance builds confidence because it teaches people they can work through discomfort instead of immediately walking away from it. And learning to embrace discomfort is one of the keys to achieving what you want in life.
82. Learn from failure
Failure isn’t the opposite of success. It’s usually part of the journey towards it.
Help your child ask, “What can I learn from this?” instead of, “Why am I no good at this?” That single mindset shift can change the way they approach challenges for life.
83. Admit when you’re wrong
Related to the above, it follows that mistakes are a natural part of learning and growing. When you approach mistakes with that in mind, owning up to them becomes far less fraught.
People who can say, “I got that wrong,” tend to learn faster, build stronger relationships and spend far less energy trying to defend the indefensible.
84. Be comfortable being a beginner
Just about everything starts with us being terrible at them. There are hundreds of hours of practise and training behind most people being ‘natural’ at something. And hundreds of nights have gone into someone becoming an ‘overnight success’.
Whether it’s surfing, learning a language or starting a new job or business, kids who are willing to be beginners stay curious and keep growing throughout life.
85. Celebrate other people’s success
Someone else’s achievement doesn’t take anything away from yours.
Learning to genuinely celebrate friends, siblings, colleagues and even strangers builds generosity, stronger relationships and freedom from constant comparison.
86. Be kind to people who can’t do anything for you
Character shows up in the way we treat everyone, not just the people we want something from.
Encourage your child to treat shop assistants, cleaners, hospitality staff, bus drivers and strangers with the gratitude and respect they deserve.
87. Practise gratitude
Gratitude is simply about noticing the good that’s already there. This habit has been linked to greater happiness, stronger relationships and improved mental wellbeing.
Encourage a daily gratitude practice, which can be as simple as making a note of 1-3 things you’re grateful for at the end of each day. Or perhaps sharing something you’re each grateful for at the dinner table.
88. Know that confidence isn’t the same as arrogance
Healthy confidence is about believing in yourself. Arrogance is thinking you’re better than someone, or even everyone, else.
Helping kids understand the difference allows them to back themselves without needing to put others down.
89. Choose courage over comfort
Growth nearly always lives just outside our comfort zone.
Whether that’s trying out for a sports team or play, introducing themselves to someone new or applying for a job, courage grows every time your child tries something they’re wary of. Susan Jeffers’ good old ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ is a good mantra here.
90. Learn to laugh at yourself
Life becomes so much easier and calmer when every embarrassing moment doesn’t feel like the end of the world. This might be a tricky one for teens, in particular, to get their head around, but oh my, does it matter!
10 ways to build resilience to help kids cope with life
The best thing we can do for our kids here is bring out their sense of humour. Learning to laugh at yourself and your crazy, crazy ways builds resilience, perspective and hopefully the ability to bounce back from mistakes with grace.
The adulthood mindset
Growing up isn’t about suddenly having everything figured out. Let’s be honest, most of us adults are making it up as we go more often than we admit.
The goal here is adaptability. The confidence to face new situations, solve problems and keep learning throughout life.
Adaptability is a key life skill that all kids can develop
91. Understand that nobody has life completely sorted
Social media has convinced many young people that everyone else knows exactly what they’re doing. The truth is the exact opposite of that.
Almost everyone is learning as we go. Knowing this takes enormous pressure off kids entering adulthood. It may also help calm the tendency towards imposter syndrome, that haunts so many of us. When you realise that no one is actually expecting you to have all the answers – let alone be perfect in producing them – you feel free to stop pretending you have it all figured out.
92. Ask for feedback without unravelling
Requesting feedback can give important information to help you improve, so it’s worth seeking out.
Teach your child that feedback isn’t a judgement on who they are as a person. It’s simply information they can choose to take on board, or not. It’s simply another person’s perspective and opinion, which can be helpful in forming up your own perspective and opinion.
Encourage them to listen without becoming defensive, ask questions if they need clarification. Being able to hear, process and act on constructive feedback is a skill that will help them at school, at work and in every relationship they build.
93. Keep learning after school ends
Some of life’s most valuable lessons happen long after formal education finishes.
Encourage your child to stay curious through books, podcasts, courses, travel, conversations and trying new things. Lifelong learners adapt more easily to change.
Just finished Year 12? So what do you do now?
94. Know how to entertain yourself
With an always-on entertainment device in their pockets, many of today’s kids don’t really experience boredom. Which is worrying, because boredom is valuable, not something to avoid at all costs.
Kids who can enjoy their own company tend to become more creative, independent and emotionally resilient than those who rely on constant stimulation.
95. Understand that comparison steals joy
There will always be someone richer, smarter, better looking, fitter or seemingly more successful.
Teaching kids to focus on their own progress rather than somebody else’s highlight reel is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
96. Build a life, not just a CV
Achievements matter, but so do friendships, hobbies, health, laughter and rest.
Success is about far more than career milestones. Encourage your child to build a life they actually enjoy living. Check in with their motivations for choosing a particular career path over another… and help them question their choice if their reasons are ‘money’ or ‘status’.
97. Take responsibility for your choices
Blaming other people rarely solves anything. but many kids are experts at it.
Helping them own their decisions and actions, both good and bad, builds maturity, resilience and personal integrity.
It can help to work through both internal and external factors that led to a particular outcome. Our actions are usually the result of a decision we chose to make, regardless of circumstances.
98. Understand that happiness isn’t a destination
Every life includes disappointment, uncertainty and difficult seasons. Most days include ups and downs and many are spent in that strange languishing state that is neither.
Real wellbeing comes from learning how to sit with all of life’s emotions, not expecting to feel ‘happy’ every minute of every day.
12 apps that will give you a happiness boost
99. Help without being asked
One of the loveliest qualities in any person is noticing what needs doing and quietly getting on with it.
Whether that’s setting the table, helping a neighbour or supporting a friend, initiative and generosity make life better for everyone. Role model being that person for your children and it will quickly become their default setting.
100. Know what matters to you
Values become a compass when life gets complicated. Living and feeling free to make decisions based on what truly matters to you is the true path to a good life.
3 questions that will help you create a life you love
Helping kids think about what’s most important to them and the values that underpin that (like honesty, kindness, curiosity, family, creativity or courage). Knowing your values gives you something steady to return to when faced with difficult choices.
101. Believe you can figure things out
This might be the most important life skill of all.
Your child doesn’t need to know everything before they leave home. They’ll be figuring that out for the rest of their life. What they need is confidence that they can learn, adapt, ask for help, recover from mistakes and keep moving forward.
In other words, the confidence to know that whatever life throws at them, they can figure it out as they go.
And perhaps that’s our real job as parents. To raise young adults who trust themselves and their capabilities enough to meet whatever life throws at them.
- I can learn what I don’t know.
- I can handle more than I think.
I think we probably need way more than 101 life skills… what did I miss?
Feature image by BOOM Photography; bed sheets by MART PRODUCTION; street map by Kateryna Naidenko; Amazon delivery by Erik Mclean; amazing by Lisa from Pexels; take things slow by Tahir Osman; laugh at yourself by cottonbro studio; comparison steals joy by olia danilevich
