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The kids doing school from home is going to kill me

The kids doing school from home is going to kill me

As the nations locks down and school from home becomes the norm, parents everywhere are… panicking.

Day one.

Day, f’ing ONE.

I am no longer worried about coronavirus coming for my kids. I am coming for them myself.

Look, tomorrow I will rally and get a grip and do all the things I know I need to do to making our at-home school thrive. Tomorrow.

Today I just want to wallow in the yelliest day I’ve had in ages and feel sorry for myself.

How on earth I am meant to work from home AND assist three kids doing their online schooling? I do not know.

Early days… such early days

It’s early days, of course. The school is working hard to get their systems in better shape than they were today. I know they are. Didn’t help today, though. Today I was interrupted every five minutes by one child or another with some tech or school problem that I could not solve.

It was eye-opening to learn that my youngest doesn’t know what her timetable is.

In her defence, she’s been a high schooler for all of five minutes. Being able to do it all on her own from home is a lot to expect. My heart knows that. My head just wants to blast her for interrupting me to ask me why her art teacher isn’t on the Zoom conference yet. Judging by the shit that went down between the online class in her absence, I’m not surprised the teacher dodged the Zoom conference. Year 7 kids are brutal.

Some kids love school from home

Meanwhile, I’ve got my eldest suddenly IN LOVE with school for the very first time. If he has one more “this is stupid, I’m going to school” rant, I will have to take him down. I cannot take another outburst of unrequited school love. I just can’t. 

My middle kid can’t do her woodwork assignment from her desk at home, so that’s a mini-crisis all on its own. She also just wants to go to school to SEE PEOPLE. MY PEOPLE. This from my very shy kid who only recently discovered that she rather likes being social right in time for COVID-19 to socially distance her. Life, huh?

Did I mention my husband is working from home at the dining room table? Right in the middle of everything with his headphones on, having very important meetings? That’s going well, too.

The dog keeps barking non-stop because, I dunno, he feels left out?

Where’s my pleasant silence?

See, aside from the interruptions, that’s the thing. I can hear everyone doing their own thing all day when I am used to very pleasant silence with added bird song. My brain cannot seem to function listening to 23 kids year 7 kids Zoom conferencing, a video recording for a science project, a ranting “I neeeed school”, hip hop music AND a very important meeting, all at the same time. Plus the dog. The bloody dog.

How are we meant to get through this? I have a job! Sob! I have a life! Abandoned!

Look, I understand this is a very teeny, tiny problem in the scheme of things. I’m grateful we are all healthy. I’m grateful we have jobs. ALL the gratitude, I promise. But just for today, on day f’ing one, let me have my little rant. Let me be frustrated. Let me get it all out.

And tomorrow, I’ll pull my head in and stop being such a dick.

How is ‘home schooling’ going at your place?

PS – I’m gathering some great tips for helping the kids do school at home. I’ll start trying out them out from tomorrow and will keep you posted.

Feature image by engin akyurt 

PS – We looooove you teachers. We miss you already!!!!!

Jodie Clarke

Monday 30th of March 2020

Bron you just made my day!!! Everything you said is me today! I know I'm 'lucky' I can work from home but I just spent 3 hours 'work' time sorting out all the work the teachers have emailed through to do with the kids this week and the other half is not coping well with my well planned out routine (go figure...multitasking is not going well apparently ;) )

I so needed this laugh today and I feel better knowing I'm not the only one so thankyou for sharing....and keeping it so very real.

May the force be with all of us!

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