50 hilarious jokes for tweens [free printable]

by | Sep 5, 2018

I confess I’ve been laughing and groaning away as I put this collection of jokes for tweens together. Jokes are fun for everyone but tweens especially LOVE jokes because not only do they find them hilarious, they also know they will illicit a groan from adults. So satisfying.

If you’ve got a tween who loves pulling out a clever joke, this list of jokes for tweens is for them. Jokes that are so boom-tish they will want to tell you them over and over again. I make no apologies for that – sitting through kids’ jokes you’ve heard countless times is all part of parenting a tween, or two, or three.


This one is good too: 16 really good podcasts for tweens


 

The trick will be to stop older siblings from butting in with the punchline. There is no sadder face than that of a tween robbed of a punchline. Shhhhh, just pretend you’ve never, ever heard any of these pearlers before.

Click here to print the jokes for tweens

50+ hilarious jokes for tweens

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A: A monkey.

Q: Why couldn’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: She kept running away from the ball.

Q: What’s a crocodile’s favourite game?
A: Snap!

Q: What is a cow without a map?
A: Udderly lost.

Q: Why was the Maths book sad?
A: It had too many problems.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
A: Mashed potato.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: A creek.

Q: Why did the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.

Q: What do you call a kangaroo crossed with a sheep?
A: A woolly jumper.

Q: What kind of tree fits into your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
A: Of course – the Sydney Harbour Bridge can’t jump.

Q: Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

Q: What has one eye, but can’t see?
A: A needle.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

Q: What kind of water cannot freeze?
A: Hot water.

Q: Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy weather?
A: Their joeys have to play inside.

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go.

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: Because he went to high school.

Q: What kind of hair does the ocean have?
A: Wavy.

Q: What did the baby corn say to the Mama corn?
A: Where is the popcorn?

Q: What do you call a cow with three legs?
A: Lean beef.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.

Q: What word ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What did one egg say to another?
A: You crack me up.

Q: Why did the girl throw a clock out the window?
A: Because she wanted to see time fly.

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.

Q: What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5?
A: A headache.

Q: Why did the boy run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.

Q: What staying in a corner but can travel the world?
A: A postage stamp.

Q: What do echidnas say when they kiss?
A: Ouch!

Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What fruit teases people a lot?
A: Ba-na, na, na, na…na!

Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: It was framed.

Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
A: Sneakers.

Q: What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: Did you hear what they did about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.

Q: Why did the student eat her homework?
A: Because her teacher told her it was a piece of cake.

Q: What kind of bone should a dog never eat?
A: A trombone.

Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of jeans.

Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
A: R2 Detour

Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.

Q: What do you call a dog in summer?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q: Which letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in your letterbox.

Q: Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
A: No, only babies.

Share your best jokes for tweens in the comments. They will love you for it!

50+ hilarious jokes for tweens - fun and clever jokes to make tweens laugh

Feature image by Alicia Jones; all other images by Mumlyfe.

Written by Bron Maxabella

Bron is the founder of Mumlyfe and is so happy to welcome you here. Bron has been writing in the Australian parenting space as Maxabella for more than seven years and is mum to three mostly happy kids and wife to one mostly happy husband. Mostly happy is a win, right?

We’re very social

More for you

50 cheap or free ways to have fun with friends

50 cheap or free ways to have fun with friends

We love it when our kids want to hang out and be social. We don't love it when they have to spend ridiculous amounts of money to have fun with friends. Every now and then it's great to go to a water park, shopping, laser tag, eating fast food or seeing a movie, but...

11 tips for Year 7 newbies from older high school kids

11 tips for Year 7 newbies from older high school kids

My youngest is starting high school in February, so I thought we'd gather some tips for Year 7 kids from older friends. It actually physically hurts me to write such a ridiculous sentence. How can all three of my babies be in actual big school? That makes me very......

50 gifts of parenting wisdom from one mother to another

50 gifts of parenting wisdom from one mother to another

Forget the jewels, that new book and even the Thermo mixer - we know what mums really want for Christmas this year. So, we put the call out in some of the groups we are in: if you could give another mother Christmas gifts of parenting wisdom, what would you tell her?...

Affiliate links

From time to time Mumlyfe uses affiliate links.  It means that Mumlyfe may recieve a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchse using the link.  YOu can find out more about how it works here.

You may also like

Related

Slow cooker butter chicken

Slow cooker butter chicken

You're going to love this slow cooker butter chicken. My kids love butter chicken but before we all decided that butter was a good thing (happy days), I used to panic at the thought of them eating it. It just sounds so… lardy. Then I discovered that butter chicken...

Are you neglecting the most powerful act of self-care?

Are you neglecting the most powerful act of self-care?

Many of us are (rightfully) focused on taking care of our health, eating nourishing whole foods and trying to be active … while meditating and flossing and taking some time of disconnection, away from devices. These are each a wonderful act of self-care, and they...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This