50 hilarious jokes for tweens [free printable]

by | Sep 5, 2018

I confess I’ve been laughing and groaning away as I put this collection of jokes for tweens together. Jokes are fun for everyone but tweens especially LOVE jokes because not only do they find them hilarious, they also know they will illicit a groan from adults. So satisfying.

If you’ve got a tween who loves pulling out a clever joke, this list of jokes for tweens is for them. Jokes that are so boom-tish they will want to tell you them over and over again. I make no apologies for that – sitting through kids’ jokes you’ve heard countless times is all part of parenting a tween, or two, or three.

This one is good too: 16 really good podcasts for tweens


The trick will be to stop older siblings from butting in with the punchline. There is no sadder face than that of a tween robbed of a punchline. Shhhhh, just pretend you’ve never, ever heard any of these pearlers before.

Click here to print the jokes for tweens

50+ hilarious jokes for tweens

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A: A monkey.

Q: Why couldn’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: She kept running away from the ball.

Q: What’s a crocodile’s favourite game?
A: Snap!

Q: What is a cow without a map?
A: Udderly lost.

Q: Why was the Maths book sad?
A: It had too many problems.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
A: Mashed potato.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: A creek.

Q: Why did the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: Because he was always lost at C.

Q: What do you call a kangaroo crossed with a sheep?
A: A woolly jumper.

Q: What kind of tree fits into your hand?
A: A palm tree.

Q: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Sydney Harbour Bridge?
A: Of course – the Sydney Harbour Bridge can’t jump.

Q: Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

Q: What has one eye, but can’t see?
A: A needle.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

Q: What kind of water cannot freeze?
A: Hot water.

Q: Why do kangaroo mums hate rainy weather?
A: Their joeys have to play inside.

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go.

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: Because he went to high school.

Q: What kind of hair does the ocean have?
A: Wavy.

Q: What did the baby corn say to the Mama corn?
A: Where is the popcorn?

Q: What do you call a cow with three legs?
A: Lean beef.

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.

Q: What word ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What did one egg say to another?
A: You crack me up.

Q: Why did the girl throw a clock out the window?
A: Because she wanted to see time fly.

Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.

Q: What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5?
A: A headache.

Q: Why did the boy run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.

Q: What staying in a corner but can travel the world?
A: A postage stamp.

Q: What do echidnas say when they kiss?
A: Ouch!

Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What fruit teases people a lot?
A: Ba-na, na, na, na…na!

Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: It was framed.

Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
A: Sneakers.

Q: What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: Did you hear what they did about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them.

Q: Why did the student eat her homework?
A: Because her teacher told her it was a piece of cake.

Q: What kind of bone should a dog never eat?
A: A trombone.

Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of jeans.

Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
A: R2 Detour

Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.

Q: What do you call a dog in summer?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q: Which letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in your letterbox.

Q: Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
A: No, only babies.

Share your best jokes for tweens in the comments. They will love you for it!

50+ hilarious jokes for tweens - fun and clever jokes to make tweens laugh

Feature image by Alicia Jones; all other images by Mumlyfe.

Written by Bron Maxabella

Bron is the founder of Mumlyfe and is so happy to welcome you here. Bron has been writing in the Australian parenting space as Maxabella for more than seven years and is mum to three mostly happy kids and wife to one mostly happy husband. Mostly happy is a win, right?

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