Okay, let’s talk about getting teens off screens while staying (sort of) sane… I’ve covered this topic before, of course (here, here and here and many more), but let’s look at what the latest research is telling us.
If you’ve ever asked your teenager to put down their phone and received a dramatic sigh followed by “Just let me finish this one thing!”, welcome to the club. Parenting teens in the age of smartphones, group chats, gaming streaks and 11pm BeReal pings is a whole new ball game.
We know screens are part of modern teen life – they are an integral part of school, study, friends, entertainment – but as screen time creeps into every corner of their lives (and ours), we start to wonder: is it all too much? Should we be doing more to set boundaries? Can we actually keep older teens off screens and, more importantly, do we even want to?
Let’s unpack the latest research, talk about what getting teens off screens really means, and go through some practical strategies that might help shift things from all-day-scroll to something that feels a bit more balanced.
What the research says about teen screen time
According to Australia’s eSafety Commissioner, Aussie teens aged 14–17 spend an average of 7.5 hours online per day outside of schoolwork, which is well above the two-hour guideline for recreational screen use.
Internationally, the CDC in the US found that teens who use screens for more than four hours a day are significantly more likely to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression.
But it’s not just about time, it’s also about what they’re doing. The Black Dog Institute found that some online activity (like creative pursuits and social connection) can be beneficial, while passive scrolling, doom-scrolling or excessive gaming can contribute to low mood, poor sleep and even loneliness.
The World Health Organization has noted a steady rise in problematic use too, with 12% of young people now showing signs of addictive online behaviour.
Should we try to get teens off screens completely?
Short answer: no. Screens are here, they’re everywhere, and they’re not going anywhere soon. But the goal isn’t a screen-free household, it’s a more mindful one.
Completely banning screens can backfire and lead to sneaky behaviour and sometimes social isolation. Instead, think of it as helping your teen develop healthy digital habits that support their wellbeing, not sabotage it.
That said, there are very real reasons to monitor and moderate. Excessive screen time has been linked to sleep issues, eye strain, decreased physical activity, and increased irritability. So it’s worth trying a few things that might work better than the nightly “Put your phone away now!” showdown.
How we can encourage healthy screen habits
So, we know we’re not going to win the war against screens (and honestly, who has the energy?). But that doesn’t mean we can’t make small, smart changes that shift things in the right direction. It’s less about prying devices out of reluctant hands, and more about gently guiding our kids towards healthier habits that will serve them well beyond their teen years. Here are a few tried-and-tested ideas that might just tip the balance.
Model healthy screen use
It’s frustrating when the #1 thing on this list is doing better ourselves, but here we are. We can’t expect our kids to ditch their phones if we’re glued to ours. Try leaving your phone in another room during meals, turning off notifications in the evening, and being upfront about your own screen struggles. Teens are more likely to take cues from what you do than what you say.
Work together on setting boundaries
Fact: teenagers are far more likely to follow guidelines they’ve helped create. So instead of creating rules and enforcing them from above, invite your teen into the process. Ask: what do you think is a fair amount of screen time on school nights? How can we make sure screens aren’t affecting your sleep? What are some times when you can put all screens away?
Encourage more offline fun
Help them find and explore activities that don’t involve screens, whether that’s sports, art, volunteering, music or just going for a walk with a mate. If they’re bored, suggest you try something together (and no, that doesn’t mean scrolling next to each other on the couch).
Try this: 100 fun, quirky, important ways to bond with your teen
Create tech-free zones and times
No phones at the dinner table. No screens after 9. No scrolling in bed. These simple rules can make a big difference, especially when it comes to improving sleep. And they should be rules for the whole family (yep, including the parents – soz). The bedtime rule is especially important: a Uni of Sydney study found that kids who left phones outside the bedroom got better rest and woke up in better moods. Result!
Talk about what they’re doing online
Instead of jumping to conclusions or criticism, ask open-ended questions: “What’s been interesting online today?” “What’s your favourite thing to watch right now?” This helps us understand our kids’ digital world and opens up space for conversations about safety, empathy and self-esteem.
Support their digital literacy
Teens need to know how to recognise fake news, protect their privacy, manage their feeds and block out the noise. Resources like eSafety offer great info to help them build these skills. You don’t need to be the expert, you just need to point them in the right direction.
Reach out for help if it’s getting too much
If your teen is showing signs of anxiety, depression or seems completely disengaged from family or offline life, reach out to your GP for a referral to a psychologist. You could also contact the Black Dog Institute or ReachOut for tools, guidance and support.
An easy life with screens
We may not be able to wrestle the phones out of our teenagers’ hands entirely and honestly, that’s not really the point. The aim is to teach our teens how to live with screens, not live for them.
Yes, the digital world can be addictive, chaotic and full of pitfalls. But it can also be creative, connective and empowering.
And if we keep the conversations going, stay involved (without being overbearing), and create a home environment that values balance, our kids will eventually find their own way to healthy screen use. Even if it takes way too many “Put your phone away!” reminders to get there.
Feature image by Andrea Piacquadio; selfies by olia danilevich; boys on phones by Pixabay;
